FUCK THE WORLD

today i would say that i have lots of things to let go.. so bare with me..

things that have been running through such as, why am i even a ci?? and why must my stupid mouth say things that make two ppl shock!!

haiz.. when i come to a thinking that whether i'm a usefull ci it always give me that feeling i'm not needed in the unit or even in the core.. having my style of leadership it's simple many ppl can learnt.. so it is sad for me too see that my fucking unit not giving me task to do at all.. i'm only in charge of the sec3.. and i don't even have to do a single shit abt it.. i don't even have to plan for their NCO course, jnoc course, to build their leadership in them and lots of more things.. haiz wat the purpose of putting me in-charge.. the reason why i'm alway not wanting to help hq is because i'm afraid of being laugh at.. i told izwan(area 5 ci and squadmate) before that if i go for npdp i scared that the ppl there would laugh at me due to the image of me in ci course.. they would have the thought that " wah shafik want to join npdp huh? his drills suck! and he still want to join" haiz that the reason y i'm always not wanting to help in hq.. i don't feeling like talking abt this already.. anyway IZWAN thks for listening to me and encouraging me to go npdp.. and thks bros for listening to me too..